Open Love Life

A Mod in which Sims have Relationship Preferences (exclusive, non-exclusive, either) and can try to live their best love live – provided their partner(s) have the same preference, otherwise tears may be on the menu…

Relationship Preferences

Sims now have preferences regarding relationships and exclusivity.
They can ask each other to be non-exclusive, which may mean being polyamorous or being in an open relationship or just about anything that fits! The broad wording is to be inclusive. 
Sims who have the same preference will be happier than Sims who have opposite preferences. Indifferent Sims are chill and are fine with anything. 

All Sims in the world age Teen and older will be given a preference automatically.
50% will prefer being exclusive, 25% indifferent and 25% non-exclusive.

You can change your Sim or another Sim’s preference by clicking whomever’s preference you want to change and going to the Actions menu.

Striking a Non-Exclusive Arrangement

Sims who agree to be non-exclusive will NOT show any jealous reaction of each other (unless they have the jealous trait, then they will be able to get a jealous moodlet sometime).

Will they Accept or Refuse?
Sims who prefer non-exclusive relationships will always accept.
Sims who prefer exclusive relationships have 30% chance of accepting.
Sims who are indifferent have 50% chance of accepting.

Refusal triggers this result, which goes away after 2 sim days so you can ask again then, but not before.
Acceptance triggers this:

Moodlets granted by accepting or refusing and by complaining, enthusing, or asking to become exclusive are fully dependent on each Sim’s preference and the other Sim’s preference.

Can NPCs ask my Sim autonomously?

Kind of – only in particular circumstances. Your Sim needs to “Ask Preference about Non-Exclusive Relationship”. This becomes possible once some romance exists between the Sims.
Then, if the listener is neutral there’s a 50% chance they will within 24 hours ask to become non-exclusive, and if they prefer non-exclusive, a 100% chance (may change that later). It will be a phone call,so have your Sim pick up if you want the options!

 Sims who are in a Non-Exclusive relationship can ask each other to go exclusive. Resulting moodlets and acceptance / refusal depend on preferences.

Sims can:
– Ask to Go Exclusive.  Moodlets and acceptance depend on each Sim’s preference.  
Enthuse about Non-Exclusive Relationship (if in one and neutral / unexclusively inclined).  Moodlets depend on each Sim’s preference. 
– Complain about Non-Exclusive Relationship (if in one and neutral / exclusivity inclined).  Moodlets depend on each Sim’s preference. 
 – Confess to feeling jealousy (if in a non-exclusive relationship and with exclusive preference). Moodlets depend on each Sim’s preference.
Ask if Having Other partners: if no answer comes, they’re not seeing anyone else. I could not show a notification for this one because of how things are coded. If they have another partner, they will tell you with a notification.
Talk about Another Partner,if in a non-exclusive relationship and having several partners. Reactions may vary depending on preference…
Praise Exclusive Lifestyle  (with friends etc, no moodlets for now). 
Praise Non-Exclusive Lifestyle (with friends etc, no moodlets for now).


Want your Sims to be non-exclusive but they refused / you don’t want the trouble of asking? You can either wait until you can ask again (2 sim days) or cheat the relationship by going to the Actions menu.
Want to remove a relationship? You can do so in the actin menu when clicking the other Sim.
Want to remove ALL non-exclusive relationships from your sim? You can do so by clicking your Sim and going to the Actions menu.

Want you Sims to be polyamorous? Make sure their preference is towards non-exclusive relationships! If not, change it in the Actions menu. They’ll then both be happy with the multiple partner aspect. Remember that the game by default allows having several boyfriends/girlfriends/SOs, so your Sims can ask several others to by Significant Others, and if they’re in a Non-Exclusive relationship everyone will be non-jealous.

Want a Sim to be never jealous, even when not in a non-exclusive relationship? Click them, go to the actions menu, and click ‘Make Sim Fully Unable To Be Jealous’. You’ll get a trait.  (remember, all Sims who are in a Non-Exclusive relationship are automatically not jealous of each other).


This is very different from the system in “No Strings Attached”. The Non-Exclusive aspect is not the relationship itself but a part of its nature. It relies on the relationship ie significant other, spouse, etc.

If sims break up or divorce, the non-exclusive relationship between them will also go away.

If a Sim goes exclusive with another, any other Non-Exclusive link will be broken, since this sim is now officially exclusive; but not the romance between those other Sims. The Sim who went exclusive has to manually go break up with everyone, or let the relationships die off…

You can also remove Non-Exclusive arrangements through an interaction under the “Relationship Type” menu”.

You can also cheat-remove a non-exclusive relationship by clicking the other Sim and going to the Actions menu.

Non-exclusively inclined Sims will more easily accept romantic interactions from new Sims. Exclusively inclined Sims will not accept as readily.

MASSIVE thanks to Triplis and Frank for their help with some script stuff.
Big thanks to the Special Agents on my Discord,  deww.drp, ToriGamez, Mia16 and RavenAstra.
Thank you to the testers at Discord.


  • Sims can now have 3-Sim Couples: exclusive between the 3 and not jealous within the triad, but will be jealous if any other goes with someone out of the triad.
  • Sims in an exclusive relationship can now have an “Approved Side Lover”: with their partner’s approval, they may WooHoo with One other specified Sim without causing any upset or jealousy. If partner A got the agreement to get a side partner, if someday B asks A for a side partner too, A will obligatorily agree, for a matter of fairness.
  • For Sims to be able to ask to add a partner, there needs to be some romance existing between the asking Sim and the prospective extra partner first.
  • Sims will accept or refuse these arrangements based on their relationship preferences and a bit of chance.
  • If a Sim asks to have either of these relationships, and their partner accepts, they will text the third party to tell them about it. THe third party will react depending on relationship preference.

NOTE THERE IS ONE LIMITATION for now: A sim who has a multiple exclusive relationship with others and also has a secret, cheated-with partner on the side who is not part of that relationship – if said partner sees them together they will have no reaction. Only if members of the triad see it will they react with jealousy. 


93 thoughts on “Open Love Life

  1. Hello, I’m happy that I finally found a mod that makes poly relationships possible but I’m having some bugs with the new triad and side lover options. In game, they will appear but the text is only “…” with the icon and after selecting(the triad specifically), the notification pop-ups appear but they don’t have any text in it and the sims relationship state(if they are dating, siblings, etc.) is also empty

    1. That would mean that your game is not in English and, I presume, you play with a translation?
      If you don’t play with a translation then there’s a problem with the strings in your language.
      Any missing text thing is not a mod bug but related to game language and translation status of development. Please specify what language your game is in and whether or not you use a translation

      1. My game is in Portuguese, and I don’t use a translation. Since the only languages that have translations for the mod are French, Chinese, and Russian, is there any way to resolve the problem? Is it possible to change the language of the game without needing to uninstall it?

      2. I’ve changed the game to English, and now the mod works perfectly. Thank you so much for the help, and sorry if I’ve caused any annoyance

      3. OK, the Portuguese string may not be up to date then. I’ll check it. It’s not translated but it still needs to be up to date and maybe didn’t save properly…

  2. Hey, thanks so much for this mod! However, I’m having trouble with it showing up in game. I don’t see any of these options. Do I need MCCC for this to work?

    1. Hi, no you don’t need mccc or anything else. Is the script file no deeper than one subfolder in the mods folder? Are script mods enabled? What is the relationship between the Sims you were playing?

  3. It’s not at all working for me. I’ve downloaded it again and again, I’ve put it in a different folder, I just cannot do it. Any advice on how to fix this? I really want to use this mod

  4. Hello! This mod made reload time very slow so I reinstalled the mod (still had the bad reload time) to see if it worked however I didn’t see the mod in the actions menu. The traits were definitely there and works it’s just I can’t do much if the only thing I can access is 3 traits and I’m not sure how else to access anything else really. Help!

  5. Hey sorry im really confused since ive never downloaded mods before. Do i have to drag the zip file to some kind of other file? i dont really understand how it works

      1. Yea ok sorry I just realized that the options show up as soon as I flirt with more than 1 sim. Thanks for the response tho!

  6. I’ve re-downloaded many times, but the option to ask for a side partner or a multiple partner relationship doesn’t appear.

      1. I don’t believe I have any old files. Maybe some old cc clothing. Are there any old files from other creators that I should look for?

      2. No, just from this very mod. If it’s installed properly and Sims fit the criteria for certain things to show, they should. Do you see nothing at all or just not certain options?

        1. Then that should be fine, hm, wonder why it’s not t showing. If there’s no old files, no nothing, I don’t know what is going on; the sim your sim is asking to is an official relationship yes?

      3. Yes. I have a husband and wife, and I’ve tried to get the husband to ask the wife if they could add a 3rd partner(who the husband is sweethearts with), but the option doesn’t show up.

      4. hello. perhaps you may you make this mod compatible with the realistic reactions mod (mod about realistic cheating, created by scaldwellhu) . it seems that this mod is not compatible with yours at the moment. maybe they can become compatible in the future ?

  7. Hi, thank you for this mod! But I’m a little confused about the conditions for building a multiple exclusive relationship.
    For example, there is a sim A (adult), she has a fiancé B (teen), a boyfriend C (adult), a love interest D (teen).
    A can ask B or D to join a multiple relationship from pie menu, but only C’s name will be shown on the list, which means A can’t build a triangle relationship with B and D.
    However when clicking on C, there will be no “Ask to Be in a Multiple Exclusive Relationship” option on his pie menu, which means A can’t build a triangle relationship from asking C.
    Is it working properly? Sorry for my English, I hope I have described clearly!

    1. Hi, I don’t quite understand your situation there, BUT I do know that I have been intending to change the requirements for asking for multiple relationships etc, requiring much lower relationship levels. I imagine that would also solve what you are talking about. 🙂

      1. Hi, thanks for the reply! The sim A I mentioned has full friendship and romance bar with sim B, C and D. I enabled teen/adult romance so don’t know if this is the problem. Does the mod not support teen-adult relationship? I found the names of teens (sim B and D) will never appear on list when asking for multiple relationships. If they grow up to adult, their names will appear on list eventually.

    1. Yes, these are just custom traits as far as I know, and as such they can’t do anything to my mod.
      However it will come to you to make traits match the preferences from my mod so say you have a sim who’s got a super monogamous personality trait from Chingyu, you’ll have to make sure to give them the exclusive preference, for logic haha.

      1. Thanks Lumpinou, your mods are lovely and the game wouldn’t be the same without them! Does it also work with Slice of life and Wonderful whims btw? Based on your prev explanation I guess it wouldn’t conflict, but just thought to double check to be sure!

  8. Hi Lumpinou, thanks for making amazing mods! Do you know if it conflicts with Zero’s IR Cheating mod? I was wondering because Zero’s mod also has a polyamory/jealousy system and uses the xml injector, so I was worried about installing both at once!

    1. That mod from zero actually does not have any polyamory feature, it just links to wicked whims’ polyamory system and marks them. So there won’t be conflicts especially if you don’t have wicked whims installed.
      Using both WW’s system for polyamory and mine would be redundant so I don’t advise doing that at the same time.
      But to go back to Zero – my system will work with that mod. The Sims won’t get jealous from Zero’s mod if they’re poly or have a side partner and all that from my mod. This because both our mods take cues from game systems and neither of us alters those systems in ways that would compromise the other’s mod.
      This also applies to my big Cheating Module of my Woohoo Wellness and Pregnancy Overhaul mod.
      Hope this helps!

      1. It helps a lot, thank you so much <3 I just have Wonderful Whims installed and I was thinking of getting zero's ir cheating mod for the relationship awareness part (between monogamous sims anyway, then relying on poly reactions through your mod). Having your open love mod, wonderful whims and possibly zero's mod as well should be fine based off what you said if I understood it correctly? Hope these questions aren't a bother, I'm sure you receive lots often and apologise in advance if so 😅

    2. Yeah that should be fine to use all those together. I’ve never tried, but wonderful whims doesn’t touch jealousy as far as I know, and Zero’s mod employs the game system so it really should all work together fine. 🙂

  9. I love this mod, but I’m having an issue with the “approved side lover” option. One of my sims is in a non-exclusive relationship with a married couple who are exclusive, but when I switch to the married couple I don’t get the option to ask to have a side partner. I do have the multiple exclusive option. Does the side partner have to be there for me to ask?

  10. Hi! I was wondering if I can choose whether to accept certain proposals? Because both my sims are open to poly, but when I ask for a 3-way relationship they both decline.. even though they both have a romantic relationship with the third sim. Am I doing something wrong maybe? Thank you!

    1. You can make sure it’s accepted by using the option under ‘actions’ instead of the one in the social menu, this for storytelling control. With the social, Sims can refuse even though likelihood of refusal depends on preferences and is therefore much lower to almost non existent in some cases. To ‘force’ the outcome, you would use the interaction in the actions menu

  11. Is there a link or set of instructions somewhere on how to properly install any of the mods? Step by Step? I literally cannot find that.

  12. Hello! I’m having a few doubts here and maybe I’m just not finding the answer. I had an official couple, boyfriend and girlfriend, and then made them enter a non-exclusive relationship as both of them prefer it. The profile says both “boyfriend/girlfriend” and “non-exclusive relationship”. Do they conflict or is it still an open relationship, even with the bf/gf relationship? If I ask them to just be friends, will the non-exclusive relationship go away too? Thank you!

    1. This is perfectly normal, and yes if they become just friends the nonexclusive relationship will also go away. If you want them to just be ‘friends with benefits’ then you would need my other mod ‘no strings attached’

    1. No, because this being illegal in most places it is a little difficult topic to approach; however I am thinking of putting some sort of “non official / paperwork-free” ceremony for trouples and such

  13. hello! i tried downloading this, and it said that it was on in the game, but when i play it doesnt have any different options or a different menu. my sims im trying this mod with are all teens, if that has anything to do with it. im so confused! this is the only mod i’m using!

  14. Hello, I do have a question! I saw in the comments I would need to change my game to English (I play in Brazillian Portuguese). Are you planning on making others translation filles? I have no idea how hard it might be but I’m kinda curious.

    1. I’m not the one doing translations as I don’t speak 12 languages haha. What transitions are available depends on what translators came forward offering the translation and for what mod. I am a little late linking some translations that exist so hopefully sometime soon there will be more translations appearing in the posts

  15. I meet the same problem as Djkibrit who reply in January 6, 2021 at 6:04 am. I can see the blanks of options but they only have icon and text is ‘….’or nothing. My game is in Simplified Chinese(CHS)and I installed your Chinese translation but it doesn’t work {Maybe your Chinese translation is Traditional Chinese(CHT)}? What can I do to make them work perfectly?Need your help plz~~

    1. I really have no idea regarding this type of question, translators might have a clue but maybe maybe not. We have met some weird bugs related to string tables, which is a system that handles all text in game. Generally such issues are resolved by removing the piles and putting them back in.

  16. This mod is so awesome! Would you ever consider working in a closed quad option? My oc’s are in a closed quad and it would be awesome to see that happen haha.

  17. I love your mods and I really feel like they’ve added the missing piece I’ve neeed in my story telling. Also I’ve noticed that multiple relationship doesn’t work for me. Like they’re in a multiple relationship but one Partner still gets the cheated on sentiment and trait? Idk, I have WW, open love life, wohoo wellness and no strings attached. Could there be some incompatibility?

  18. I have downloaded this mod and set it up to sims 4 but when I play it’s as if I don’t have the mod

  19. Does this mod work with the free love neighborhood action plan & wicked whims? I have a teen sim who sleeps around a bunch and he hasn’t had any issues with romantic interests seeing him flirt with others, but an adult sim walked in on one of her romantic interests having sex with his wife and got super jealous.

    1. WW stuff uses its own jealousy system and therefore isn’t impacted. As said in the compatibility notes on the download page! :
      ‘No concerns other than, WW’s real life-like ‘woohoo’ will be considered for jealousy. This mod doesn’t apply to it.’

  20. Hey, love this mod so far!
    However I have one Problem, I can’t find the ‘approved side lover’ request. I have a couple that is in an exclusive relationship and person A has another lover C (first I had them in a non-exclusive relationship with C and then deleted it) but person A can only ask their partner B to be in an exclusive multiple relationship with C.

    So far I’ve only once seen the option to ask for the side lover in a different household but the person declined.

    So what is the premise to have this option?

    Thank you

      1. I deleted it through the actions option. But I just found out if I make them break up the non-exclusive relationship through the normal interaction I get the option to ask the official partner for the side lover! ^^ thank you for the reply though, love your work!

  21. Hey! This mod sound really cool but im having some trouble gettin ti to wok right, I have three sims (Sim A, sim B, Sim c) that I want to be a throuple but iit isnt working right, all the sims get mad at each other when flirting
    Example: A flirts with B, C loses romace with both A and B and gets a sad moodlet becasue theyre jelous.
    This happens with all the sims no matter what I do, All the ims prefer non exclisive relationships, they all agreed to a throuple, The only other mod i have that could be breaking it is you LGBTQIA+ mod but when i removed it the problem persisted. I really dontknow what to do and all my sims are starting to hate each other

      1. I think a recent sims 4 update is making jealousy occur where it shouldn’t, specifically the part which added Fears to the game. One of which is the fear of being cheated on, which could cause the angry/sad moodlets to appear regardless of mod settings.

  22. hi there! i love this mod so much, thank you for making it. i just wanted to ask, i’ve used it mostly for my triad sims but i have some sims i want to be in a v relationship instead (A and C both with B, but not with each other) — is that possible with this mod? 🙂 thank you!

  23. Hi! I installed the mod and everything seems to work correctly. I have two couples who I’ve both gotten to agree to open relationships with the intention of the four of them being poly, but despite them all having a preference for open relationships, whenever i try to flirt, they end up with moodlets related to cheating (Such as embarrassment from being caught cheating). I’ve also attempted to get them into exclusive poly relationships, but they keep refusing. Is there a certain number of steps i need to take to avoid this?

    1. Did you get all the Sims involved in an open relationship with all the others?

      And yes, you can just cheat-start the relationships, under ‘actions’ when clicking from your sim to another.

    1. It kind of doesn’t? Sims who are compatible can ask each other to have open relationships etc as before.
      Not sure I totally get the question, but yeah.
      I have another mod for orientation stuff etc, this one is about open relationships and three-sim-exclusive-relationships and ‘approved’ side partners etc.

      1. i meant like, since there’s now a distinction between romance and woohoo. does this mod only affect the romance side of it?

  24. also, this is unrelated, but patreon is currently not available in my country, could i download it from somewhere else?

  25. Hi there. I am a bit confused with the woohoo aspect. My sim isn’t getting the option to woohoo with their side partner and their romance bar is maxed. Their friendship is also halfway as well.

      1. Hi there. First of all, great mod. I have looked through all the information on your website and patreon, but I can’t find an answer. So I’ll just ask – are all random townie sims set to exclusive? Or have I just been getting bad luck. Thanks in advance!

        1. Hi, townies and played Sims get the same assign rates, of, I believe, 50% preferring exclusive, and the other 50% divided between neutral and preferring non exclusive. You can change their preferences as you would for your own sim, except by clicking them from your sim. It’s under ‘actions’. 🙂
          The rates will become customizable in the next update.

  26. Hello, I just discovered this mod and I would like to know how the exclusive relationship of 3 works? What do I have to do to make it work? Do I have to have a pair of the first two and add the third to that?

  27. Thanks for this amazing mod! I’ve been hunting for something to allow my sims to he polyamorous <3 would you ever consider making it work for 4-sim couples in the future?

  28. Just getting into the Sims 4 and I was trying this mod… it looks like it doesn’t support the “Loyal” trait; my Sim got the “tense” moodlet when they started flirting with our other partner while in an in-game non-exclusive relationship. Is that something that could be supported?

  29. I tried using your mod and already checked with the list of CC if it is included, in which it already is, but I can’t seem to find any option or interaction that is new or may be relating to this mod. Any advise on how I can check if it is working?

    1. Hi,
      Iptiobs to change a Sim’s preferences are under ‘actions’ ; options to start open relationships etc are under ‘romance’ then ‘relationship type’.

      If you don’t see those ever, check the following:

      0. Is your **game up to date**? *My mods work properly only on the Most Recent versions of the game.*
      1. Are all .package and / or .TS4SCRIPT files for this mod **extracted from archive files?** *(no .zip or .rar in mods folder)*
      2. Are all files **directly in the mods folder OR in one subfolder** in it, but no deeper?
      3. Are **cc mods AND script mods both enabled** in game settings? (must check BOTH) – *in game, in options, under ‘other settings’*
      4. Do you have only **ONE version** of the mod installed at a time and is that version compatible with your game version?

      Hope this helps 🙂

Leave a Reply