Lumpinou’s LGBTQIA+ / Gender & Orientation Overhaul Mod (Sims 4):

Gender Identity,
Gender Affirmation & Transition,
Split Orientations (In-Depth!),
Self-Discovery (optional),
Coming Out (optional),
Dating App & Lot Trait(s),
Auto-Assign (optional & customizable),
Extra aspects,
Queerplatonic relationships,
Customizable Impact on Romance / WooHoo,

& More!

& even more to come 🙂

Find most recent version:

– on my Patreon Mod Index Post
OR on ModTheSims

All my mods are base-game compatible.
If you have High School Years pack, you will have some extra features.


Either DELETE or MANUALLY UPDATE your GlobalSettings file (this file hosts your settings for this mod, NOT your Sims’ assignments. Assignments won’t be impacted).
I tried to make it update automatically but still running into issues with that, so, we are still on a ‘delete or update manually’ model. Deleting it will let a new setting file re-spawn, but you’ll have to re do your settings. Manually updating it = opening your current settings file in a text editor and inserting two given lines in between two other lines following my illustrated instructions here.

If you want to MANUALLY EDIT your file, follow the steps below. Otherwise, delete your file.

There are TWO NEW LINES, shown in bold in this example of the v2.3 default settings:

[Lumpinou's LGBTQIA+ Mod Global Settings]
override_game_system = True
orientations_and_ids_have_impact = True
impact_based_on_identities_not_game_system = True
kissing_depends_on_sex_ori = True
grey_out_int_if_known_incomp = True
grey_out_int_if_actor_incomp_to_target = False
allow_woohoo_for_all_rel_types = False
show_rejection_notifications = True
show_lgbtqia_in_rel_panel = True
allow_negativity_and_phobia = False
allow_neutral_answers = False
allow_negative_reactions = False
allow_coming_out_systems = True
closeted_adds_pretending = True
allow_orientation_discovery = False
allow_identity_discovery = False
allow_discovery_for_all = False
percent_of_ori_gender_discov_candidates = 15
chance_of_ori_gender_discov_trigger = 15
percent_of_ori_type_discov_candidates = 15
percent_of_id_discov_candidates = 15
auto_assign_lgbtqia_to_npc_sims = False
auto_assign_lgbtqia_to_played_sims = False
auto_match_romantic_and_sexual_attraction = True
played_auto_assign_on_ageup_to_teen = False
percent_of_non_heteroromantic_sims = 10
percent_of_non_hetero_bi_pan_sims = 50
percent_of_non_cis_sims = 10
percent_of_sims_on_aro_spectrum = 10
percent_of_sims_on_ace_spectrum = 10
percent_of_non_heteroromantic_npc_sims = 10
percent_of_non_hetero_bi_pan_npc_sims = 50
percent_of_non_cis_npc_sims = 10
percent_of_npc_sims_on_aro_spectrum = 10
percent_of_npc_sims_on_ace_spectrum = 10
showed_welcome_notif = True

Insert the two new lines.

  1. percent_of_non_hetero_bi_pan_sims” goes between ‘percent_of_non_heteroromantic_sims’ and “percent_of_non_cis_sims”
percent_of_non_heteroromantic_sims = 10
percent_of_non_hetero_bi_pan_sims = 50
percent_of_non_cis_sims = 10

2. “percent_of_non_hetero_bi_pan_npc_sims” goes between “percent_of_non_heteroromantic_npc_sims” and “percent_of_non_cis_npc_sims”

percent_of_non_heteroromantic_npc_sims = 10
percent_of_non_hetero_bi_pan_npc_sims = 50
percent_of_non_cis_npc_sims = 10

Check that you put things in the right place, save your settings file, and you are done!

  • From v1.5 or earlier to v2 or later: Settings have CHANGED therefore the settings file must be REMOVED
  • From v2 to v2.1: KEEP your settings.
  • NOTE FOR THOSE WHO PLAYED WITH V1.5 (hotfix for game patch):
    There will be one thing happening upon updating to V2, which will happen JUST THIS TIME. Read below.

While you played with v1.5, which had no power over the game’s new system, it turns out the game’s system was messing with your Sim’s CAS orientations in the background – so EVEN if you didn’t touch any of it, the game changed it.
When installing v2, it now takes into account CAS stuff, to be safe if someone ‘accidentally’ makes a change in cas.
The problem is that if it sees a Sim who has mod assignments but whose CAS settings are not matching the mod assigns (ie, it assumes that the player changed something in cas), it’ll adjust mod stuff to fit cas stuff. And because the game auto changed stuff, PLAYED Sims who had assignments previously (should be only played sims) will now be having the wrong assignments as the mod will copy whatever CAS tells it to do.
(you will see a lot of played Sims end up with pansexual and romantically attracted to one gender, for example).
There’s nothing I can do about this, but it’s a system transition thing that will NOT happen ever again since now my mod makes it so that CAS can’t dance about once you have given assignments to Sims.
You can re-do assigns manually for the sims who were affected….

There will be next versions with More Gameplay Stuff. Things are already in development.

V1 focused on the base systems, bringing Sims a variety of gender identities, romantic orientations & sexual orientations, and making them react accordingly (unless you turn that off).
V1.1 added: Gender affirmation & Gender Transition features.
V1.2 added: Coming Out features
V 1.3 added: extra aspects, visual re-design, and developments to Unexpected Crushes 🙂
v 1.5 added: additional developments for genderfluid sims, and orientation type discovery.
v2 adapted to the game’s July update and added new settings


This mod is HIGHLY CUSTOMIZABLE. See something you don’t like? Chances are, it can be turned off or fine-tuned. Check the “Settings” Section in doubt!

GENDER Identities & Affirmation:

Free your Sims from the binary – their ‘CAS body gender’ doesn’t have to completely define who they are. You can choose to assign identities to sims.

  • Questioning, Cisgender, Agender, Non-Binary, Genderfluid and Transgender are the options in this mod.
  • Gender Affirmation: a variety of non-medical and medical gameplay options for sims to transition or take gender-affirming steps. You can forget about CAS and actually do gameplay storytelling, accompanying your Sim along the way to their more expressed self, through interactions, moodlets, notifications, socials, relationship statuses and sentiments.

Have CONTROL over how Orientation & Identity Impacts your game:

  • Want your non-cis Sims to NOT be misgendered and wrongly rejected based on their body? This mod’s got you covered! See its second setting in the settings list.
  • Have a story with an individual sim who are in the closet and don’t outwardly act truthfully to who they are until they are ready to be out? Can do that with this mod too.

  • Want all Sims to once more be completely pan? You can do that by either using the auto assign features, or leaving all Sims with no assignments, or using settings to make all Sims act pan no matter what (making all labels cosmetic-only – if you choose to add labels at all).

Bring NUANCE to your Sims and stories: Orientation, Extras, QPR

With a variety of (optionally) gameplay-impacting possibilities, you can make your Sims feel more diverse and real.

  • Here’s some examples of the representation you can make. Want to play the story of a nonbinary aromantic demisexual Sim? a cis mlm sim who is still keeping up appearances in a straight relationship and getting closer to telling them the truth? a touch-averse Sim? What about, a pan/demiromantic WooHoo-Favorable asexual Sim? A heteroromantic grey/pansexual Sim? A Trans Sim doing HRT? Representing all these experiences, and more, is possible with this mod.
  • ROMANTIC & SEXUAL orientations are completely separate and do not have to match at all.
    • They ALL have (optional) gameplay impact (ie if ‘gameplay impact’ setting is on.)
    • Sims can be, for romantic and sexual attraction, any mix of the following:
      • allo, grey, demi, a- ; and: attracted to masc, attracted to fem., bi, pan
        • Note: By default, the system looks at Identity not body (it’s a setting). NB, genderfluid, agender are included in all orientations by default (same setting).
      • ace / aro can be woohoo / romance -favorable, -indifferent or -averse
  • EXTRA ASPECTS help you represent an extra layer of realities.
    • Various type of touch-dislikes for kissing-averse or touching-averse (or both).
    • Sims can hide their identity or orientation w/ the “Pretending” aspects.
    • Sims can add extra cosmetic labels such as ‘intersex’, ‘queer’, ‘gay’, ‘lesbian’.
    • Sims can chose to be Always Faithful & reject sims except their partner.
    • And more!
  • QUEERPLATONIC Relationships & Romance-Free WooHoo:
    • Sims can be Queerplatonic partners!
    • Aromantic Sims & Sims with matched sexual orientations but not-matched romantic orientations can woohoo without romance. Other Sims can, too, if you turn that setting on.

(Optional) AUTO-POPULATE your world with DIVERSE Sims:

  • Highly customizable auto-assign systems will allow you to have a world where Sims will appear in the game with varied gender identities and pronouns, orientations, and various other aspects.

(Optional) Have your Sims FIND THEMSELVES:

  • Systems for sims to discover their orientation, such as ‘Unexpected Crushes‘, and discovery of attraction experience, makes them live the feels of figuring out that maybe your orientation isn’t what you thought.
  • Systems for Sims to discover their gender identity are under way 🙂

(Optional) Have your Sims COME OUT!:

  • The ‘coming out’ progression walks sims from being in the closet to coming out to family and coming out publicly.
  • Sims don’t have to come out. You are able to entirely hide coming-out interaction and ‘out status’ prompts.

Accepting World [DEFAULT] or (Optional) Introduce some Negativity

  • Stick to only positivity in an accepting world (default)
  • Or, for those who want, allow negative reactions and answers

DATING App & LOT Trait: meet & mingle

  • The Meet&Mingle! Dating App: have your Sim go on semi-blind dates with Sims auto-matched to be compatible, so Sims of any orientations and identities can meet potential partners easily.
  • Lgbtqia+ lot Trait: for your non-alloCisHet Sims to hang out with other LGBTQIA+ Sims and allies. Can be applied to various lot types! If this lot trait is applied to a bar, enjoy Special Nights with different crowds: Mondays from 6pm to 11pm is aro/ace night. Tuesdays 6pm to 11pm is W(N)LW night. Wednesdays from 6pm to 11pm is M(N)LM night. Thursdays from 6pm to 11pm is GNC night.


This mod is HIGHLY CUSTOMIZABLE. See something you don’t like? Chances are, it can be turned off or fine-tuned. Check the “Settings” Section in doubt! 🙂

Choices: Male, Female (trans or cis); non-binary, agender, genderfluid questioning: identity.

Gameplay impact:
– by default, gender identities are what is used to determine orientation compatibility. For more info, read the FAQ entry “How (on what basis) does the system determine attractions towards Sims who identify as / are Trans, Non-Binary, Genderfluid or Agender?
– Identity also opens the doors to the gender affirmation and transition features.

If you are asking yourself, “I want my child Sim to label their gender identity; can Child Sims have gender identities?” – yes, but it’s a different system and menus. See here.

(FtM) Decide to Wear Chest Binders:

  • Will reduce breasts while on.
  • BONUS collab with MonoChaos: If you have their “accessory” binder (MC_yuAcc_FtMChestBinder), the sim will be wearing it when deciding to put on binders in my mod!

Decide to Wear Breastforms (MtF):

  • Similar to how the binder system works, except for breastforms.
  • Will give breasts while on.

Voice Therapy (M to F):

  • will gradually change the sim’s voice pitch over 4-5 sessions (your sim retains their own voice, the pitch changes).
  • will have a moodlet, a new one every session, for the duration of the therapy.
  • Can tell other Sims about it in the ‘friendly’ menu.

Decide on New Pronouns:

  • Lets the sim choose between he/him, she/her, they/them, fae/faer, ey/em, ze/hir
  • Grants a moodlet
  • Can tell others about it in the ‘friendly’ menu
  • NOTE: the game wasn’t designed at this point to have pronouns change in live mode. They’ll update to the new choice immediately everywhere EXCEPT on moodlets and relationship statuses. Moodlets will show the new pronouns after a load screen (going to manage worlds, traveling ,etc).

Decide on New Name:

  • Changes Sim’s name
  • Grants a moodlet
  • Can tell others about the new name under ‘friendly’

Walkstyle Training:

  • Changes the Sim’s default walkstyle
  • Grants a moodlet
  • (Upcoming) later, sims will be able to tell others about this and get reactions; I didn’t have the time right now to finish it.

Decide to Dress Differently:

  • Switches the sim’s CAS clothing preference.
  • Grants a moodlet
  • (upcoming) later sims will be able to tell others about it

Genderfluid: Decide to Reflect Shifts Onto Expression:

  • If a Gendefluid Sim chooses this, their gender identity shifts will be automatized and automatically reflect on gender expression. When a shift occurs, you will be notified; their pronouns will change, as well as current outfit. The system will pick outfits in accordance to this model: Outfit slot 1 is for more neutral outfits. Outfit slot 2 is for fem.-outfits. Outfit slot 3 is for masc.-leaning outfits. Assign outfit slots accordingly for cohesive results. Remember, Sim might decide to change to some other outfit afterwards regardless.

Hormone replacement therapy

  • happens over 3 – 4 sim days
  • gradually changes the Sim’s fit / fat repartition
  • (for F to M) gradually changes the Sim’s voice pitch (your sim retains their own voice, the pitch changes).
  • at the end, changes the Sim’s gender frame
  • body hair integration: if Sim has body hair growth enabled, FtM will see hair appear and grow throughout the hormone therapy and MtF Sims will have some hair reduction.
  • Sims can tell others about it under the ‘friendly’ menu.
  • Different moodlets appears at every step
  • Mood swings are possible

Top surgery

  • happens over a few sim hours
  • will switch the sim’s CAS gender (therefore removing or creating appearance of breasts)
  • triggers surgery recovery (no exercise or woohoo during that period)
  • Sims can tell others about it in the ‘friendly’ menu
Screenshots by MonoChaos
  • Collab with MonoChaos:
    MonoChaos made (optional) Top Surgery scars to go with this mod!
    If a player downloads their file for it, my mod will auto-apply the scars to sims who had top surgery.
    There are 3 possible scar styles (swatches) so not all sims will have the same! Download MonoChaos’s “FtM Surgery Scars” HERE

  • NOTE: Top surgery sends the Sim to CAS afterwards (you’ll see a window informing you). Why?
    1. to adjust swimwear if need be
    and 2. Because EA has a bug in which if a sim changes CAS gender in live mode (= gains / loses breasts), the game changes the sim’s pronouns to those traditionally associated with a gender binary. So, your sim loses their custom pronouns. My Mod restores them, after the EA bug removes them. BUT this ‘restoration’ does not apply immediately to moodlets (it is immediate for notifications, interactions etc, but not moodlets and sim profiles, which restore the right pronouns after a load screen). So, going to CAS addresses the swimwear situation AND helps actualize my fix for EA’s pronoun bug.

Bottom Surgery

  • happens over a few sim hours
  • Will make sims unable to be impregnated (F to M) / unable to impregnate (M to F)
  • Will make the sim urinate standing (F to M) / urinate sitting (M to F)
  • triggers surgery recovery (no exercise or woohoo during that period)
  • Sims can tell others about it in the ‘friendly’ menu

Family and Partners can be told about Intention to pursue gender-affirming choices and have a reaction.

Friends, family and partners can be told about various things (having surgeries, doing hormone therapy, voice therapy, having a new name, etc etc) and it’ll illicit responses. Responses will all be positive for players who keep “allow negativity” off. For players who turn that on, responses can be positive or negative and reactions as well.

If a Sim is not initially accepting, you can try to ‘Ask for Acceptance’ and try to sway them later.

There are also Social Bunny posts that your Sim can make (some examples above).

Quickly change or Cheat stuff through this menu.
  • Gender Identity discovery: see the ‘Self Discovery’ section.
  • Optional: aspects of dysphoria: See the “Experiences Dysphoria” Extra Aspect in the Extra Aspect section of this page.

Choices for Types: alloromantic, greyromantic, demiromantic, aromantic.

Added in v1.1: Choice Of Personal Attitude towards Romance for Aromantic Sims (see image above)

Choices for Genders: romanticaly attracted to male / female, biromantic, panromantic, questioning

Gameplay impact: romantic orientations determine whether a Sim will react positively or not to another Sim using non-touching romantic interactions with them (flirting, expressions of love, etc).

– Aromantics don’t get romance points. Within queerplatonic relationships, Sims have another relationship metric instead. The Flirty mood is also weaker for them. They can WooHoo regardless of the usual romance requirements that normally apply in the game.

  • Aromantics always refuse romantic stuff out of Queerplatonic relationships. Within Queerplatonic relationships, the acceptance / refusal is based on their Personal Attitude towards Romance.

    Greyromantics will refuse romance some times and accept it other times. Hoping to develop this aspect more onwards.
    Demiromantics won’t welcome romantic interactions unless friendship points are high enough (65+).

Choices for Types: allosexual, gresexual, demisexual, asexual (sex favorable, sex indifferent or sex-averse)

(Never heard of these distinctions? If you are curious, here are some readings:
-1: asexuality and attitudes towards sex- -2: asexuality-)

Choices for Genders: sexually attracted to male / female, bisexual, pansexual, questioning

Gameplay Impact – Asexuals: Asexual Sims will not woohoo autonomously. They have chances of refusing woohoo, which range from systematic to occasional depending on their personal attitude towards woohoo (sex favorable, sex indifferent or sex-averse).
Greysexuals will accept or refuse (hoping to develop this more later to refine criteria for why).
Demisexuals won’t want to engage in woohoo unless friendship points are high enough.

Gameplay Impact – Everything Else: sexual orientation determines whether a Sim will react positively or not to another Sim using touching romantic interactions with them (kissing, woohoo, etc).

  • It is advised to NOT do assignments for orientation in CAS, but to do it all through this mod instead – because the mod has more options that CAS can’t handle at all! (it will also adjust the cas stuff, and vice versa).
  • The mod has a convenient all-in-one system for assignments so it’s fast and easy to make them.

How to assign to other Sims, and more:

Orientation Discovery: See under the ‘Self-Discovery’ Section

Extra aspects with gameplay impact already

  • Won’t Kiss Unless Romantically Matched:
    This trait basically makes it so that hands-on interactions other than woohoo shift to depending upon romantic compatibility instead of sexual compatibility.
    By default, kissing, as a ‘hands-on’ thing, and other ‘hands-on’ interactions, counts as dependent upon Sexual Orientation. Yet, if for example a Demiromantic Sim finds that they wouldn’t want to kiss a Sim whom they’re not feeling romantic attraction for, then this trait would give them that.

  • Doesn’t Want Physical Contact: for Sims who just aren’t into any touch-based romantic interactions, even with Sims that fit their romantic orientations. Note that this does not apply to Woohoo. Asexuality and its polarities would, instead.

  • Closeted: A Closeted Sim will not tell others about their gender identity and orientations, but remain evasive instead. More to come for this.

  • Pretending : Orientation and Pretending: Identity: a Sim who knows their orientations / identity but, for reasons of their own, acts in a way that makes it look like their orientations are different from what they truly are (for example, a non-hetero sim pretending to be hetero, perhaps due to not being ready to come out, etc. This is a storytelling tool, effect: makes it so that this sim will accept advances from / have their advances accepted by Sims not compatible)

  • t4t: Sim prefers to interact romantically with other non-cisgender Sims, with whom Sim can more easily feel safe and understood. Sim might feel uncomfortable upon starting a relationship with a cisgender sims. Effect: in the early stages of relationships, if the other sim is cis., Sim will get a tense moodlet.
  • Celibate: Sim chooses to abstain from WooHooing. Effect: Sim will not offer to WooHoo autonomously, and will decline if propositioned. User can make Sim initiate woohoo, if storytelling purposes warrant it, then Sim will get very tense from breaking their celibacy choice.
    NOTE: this has nothing to do with the asexuality options of this mod; being asexual and being celibate are two different things, albeit often linked. Not all asexuals are celibate, not all celibates are asexual (see under the asexual feature description, especially about sex-favorable, -indifferent and -averse options).
    This can be used by any Sim regardless of how they experience attraction.
  • Always Faithful: if Sim has an official partner, Sim will reject (& not autonomously perform) any romantic interaction not to / from their official partner.
  • Experiences Dysphoria: This Sim experiences gender dysphoria. The dissonance between their gender identity and body causes distress that might be eased by taking gender-affirming steps. Effect: Sim will get occasional moodlets (different ones possible) from experiencing dysphoria. Dysphoric Sims who have taken gender-affirming steps will experience dysphoria less often.

Extra Aspects that are Cosmetic Only FOR NOW
(awaiting gameplay impact additions in development & to be developed)

  • Proud Advocate: just a cosmetic trait for now, more to come on this.
  • Discreetly Out: just a cosmetic trait for now, more to come on this.
  • Out: just a cosmetic trait for now, more to come on this.
  • Phobic: for now, makes it so that the sim will always react negatively to being told about gender affirming choices, coming out, etc. Pending further development.
  • Ally: for now, makes it so that the sim will always react positively to being told about gender affirming choices, coming out, etc. Pending further development.
  • Intersex: Sim was born with or developed biological sex characteristics that don’t align with either of the traditional, binary definitions of ‘biological male’ or ‘biological female.’ Special interactions etc to come about this.

  • “Cosmetic” labels: labels that are not meant to do anything but are there for those who want. Queer, Gay, Lesbian (those are NOT the factors influencing orientation; orientation is determined by the more neutral ‘attracted to —-” traits under ‘orientation and identity’)
  • Turn OFF ‘Orientations & Identites Impact Gameplay”
  • Likely, you’ll also want the auto-assigns turned off.
  • Turn ON “Orientations & Identites Impact Gameplay”
  • Turn OFF “Played Sim auto-assignment”
  • Turn OFF “NPC Auto-Assignment”
  • Manually assign to whichever Sim you want.
    Note: It you have ‘orientations based on identities, not cas gender’ ON, the sim initiating romance with another who has set orientations must have at least a gender identity set for the other sim’s orientations to recognize them. And vice-versa.
  • Turn ON “Orientations & Identites Impact Gameplay”
  • Turn ON “NPC Auto-Assignment”
  • Turn ON “Played Sim auto-assignment” if you want played Sims to also be auto assigned.

Turn OFF “Orientations & Identites Impact Gameplay”
Turn ON “Played Sim auto-assignment”
Turn ON “NPC Auto-Assignment”

  • Turn OFF “Orientations & Identites Impact Gameplay”
  • Turn OFF “Played Sim auto-assignment”
  • Turn OFF “NPC Auto-Assignment”
  • Turn OFF ‘v2 switch’.
  • This will leave the Mod POWERLESS over your game other than for the transition gameplay. I don’t recommend this, but, it’s possible.

This is designed for storytelling, for Sims who are still figuring out their orientations (but it does make gameplay impact match, too).

Say you have a Sim who thinks they’re attracted to one gender only… and then someday, they feel something romantic or sexual for a sim who is not that gender, and it opens their awareness of the fact that maybe they’ve felt that before, but didn’t give it attention – that maybe they’re romantically or sexually also attracted to other genders.

The ‘unexpected crush’ feature allows you to model exactly that (it is NOT made to say a Sim is straight / gay just for one other Sim or whatever, it is to express that contact with a specific Sim becomes a turning point in their understanding of their orientations, and that their orientations are broader or different than initially assumed).
Note that if the other Sim isn’t oriented towards your Sim’s gender, then, they won’t accept your Sim’s advances, even though your Sim would welcome theirs!

This feature is manual and / or autonomous according to your settings.

  • Here’s an example of how it can be used for stories: Simmie thinks she’s attracted to men only, because so far in her life she’s only consciously felt that way for male Sims. Someday, she meets a Sim who changes that understanding. Selene isn’t a man, and Simmie’s got an Unexpected Crush on them. Simmie and Selene get to know each other, and Simmie realizes she’s just totally in love. Simmie’s uses the ‘reconsider due to Crush’ interaction, her understanding of her orientations shift from “romantically and woohoo-attracted to male only” to “questioning”. She’s now open to considering that maybe she’s not just straight.

When romancing an Unexpected Crush, it’s more interesting to take it slow. Sims will react to new milestone of the relationship (flirt, touch, kiss, woohoo) and will have thoughts and reminiscing in between.

Say a Sim flirted back and forth with their unexpected crush, then left it at that for that day. The next day they’ll think about it again. If the next time, they kiss, the sim will reminisce about that and wonder about it. Etc. If your Sim skips straight to woohoo (if applicable), you skip all these steps and heart flutters.

(of course, if your sim is aro, they don’t have to do romantic stuff, and if they’re ace, they don’t have to woohoo, etc. The rest of the progression is still available to them.).

When interacting romantically with a special crush:
Sims get special moodlets (and will later reminisce about the event) when:

  • flirting for the 1st time
  • touching romantically for the 1st time
  • kissing for the 1st time
  • Woohoo‘ing for the 1st time

If they woohoo, a prompt will happen soon after to ask if they think that changes their understanding of their orientations. They can also access that thought / choice at anytime under ‘decisions’ then ‘relationship & crush decisions’., for the Sims who prefer not to WooHoo.

They can ‘decide to forget about unexpected crush‘ or ‘decide to reconsider orientations due to unexpected crush‘ at any time under ‘decisions’ then ‘relationship & crush decisions’.

  • Allow Orientation Discovery” allows autonomous unexpected crushes
  • Sims who’ve had auto-assignments and sims to whom you force-add the system can qualify
  • Among qualifying sim, a certain number will be flagged to have an unexpected crush. This number is set by the option “orientation discovery: percentage of participating qualifying sims”
  • Upon interacting with sims of incompatible orientation/identity combo, there’s a chance that a Sim flagged to have an unexpected crush will have one. That chance is set by the option “orientation discovery: chance of event trigger”.

Orientation Discovery, Aspect 2: Finding Out about Ace / Aro spectrum Alignment

For Sims to discover if they are on the aro or ace spectrum.

How it works:

  • If the Sim passes the percent chance to be assigned a future discovery, they are marked already for exactly what it will be (aro, greyro, demiro, ace, greyace, demisexual, or a combination of both.
  • Sims who will have a discovery will get occasional moodlets and / or notifications when engaging in the relevant romance and / or physical intimacy, depending on what they are going to eventually discover.
  • To figure out exactly what aligns with their experience, they should ‘Research Asexual & Aromantic Spectrums‘ on the computer.

Settings: you decide the percentage of Sims who will have discoveries. If ‘discovery for all’ is on, Sims who you manually assigned stuff for will qualify, otherwise it’ll be only for auto-assigned Sims and sims who you force-run the system on.

Identity Discovery Systems

For Sims to discover their gender identity through gameplay.
Happens (or not) according to your settings on this matter.

Sims who are marked by the system to discover that they’re not cis after all will get occasional moodlets about strange feelings. Once they research, they’ll find out about themselves. the system knows all along what your sim is, the sim themselves don’t know until they figure it out.

There’ll be more developments later for discoveries through social interaction with other sims etc.

The “Ponder” Menus

You can use the “Ponder” menus to have a Sim get orientations, identity, or both, either manually selected or randomly selected.

Discovery Settings

You can customize these systems. You can choose to turn them on or off, how many Sims they have a chance of applying to, etc. See under “SETTINGS” or in game for more info.

This system can auto-assign orientations & identities to Sim in the world. It is customizable. See below.

  • Auto-assign will NEVER modify what you have manually assigned.
  • Auto-assigns start at Teen.
  • If the auto-assign applies non-cis identities to a Sim, it will also give them pronouns to match. If the auto-assign applies ‘Trans’ to a sim, it will also switch their clothing preference to the gender they identify as. Some Trans sims will also be automatically made to have taken gender-affirming steps (but not all!)
  • This mod ignores the game’s gender preference metric, using its own systems instead, but for the sake of the game & mods that look at it, this mod changes that metric when assignments are made. For Sims who are strictly attracted to one gender only, the preferences will also be locked in place.
  • Auto-assign takes into account pre existing marriages and significant others, to create matching orientations. You can still change what it selected, of course.
  • —– On / Off auto assign settings ——
  • Auto-assign for NPCs:
    On or Off. Default: Off.
    If ON, gender identities & orientations will be auto-assigned for NPCS.
    If OFF, you will be expected to give Sims orientations / identities manually if you want the mod to apply to them. The percentages you set will determine how many sims get what auto-assigned.

  • Auto-Assign for Played Sims:
    On or Off. Default: Off.
    If ON, gender identities & orientations will be auto-assigned for played Sims.
    If OFF, you will be expected to give your Sim orientations / identities manually as wanted. The percentages you set will determine how many sims get what auto-assigned.

    Note: auto-assign takes into account pre-existing marriages and significant others, to create matching orientations. You can still change what it selected, of course.
  • Auto-Match Romantic & Sexual Attractions:
    On or Off. Default: On
    – If this is ON, auto-assigned romantic and sexual attractions will match each other.
    – If this is set to OFF, Sims might have matched romantic and sexual orientations, or be pan- or bi-sexual while only being hetero- or homo- romantic.
  • Played Sim Feature Auto-Assign Upon AgeUp To Teen:
    On or Off. Default: Off
    – If ON, played Sims who age up to teen will get orientations and identities auto-assigned.
    – If OFF, they won’t and you can manually assign elements to them as you discover them.
  • —- Percentage settings —-
    — For percentage settings, I went with a random default of 10%. Change it to your liking! —-
  • Played Sim Percent of Non-Hetero Sims: default 10%.
  • Played Sim Percent of non-cis Sims: default 10%
    NOTE: Non-cis sims will also be assigned various pronouns. Some Trans sims will be assigned to have done transition steps.
  • Played Sim Percent of Sims Identifying with Aromantic Spectrum: default 10%
  • Played Sim Percent of Sims Identifying with Asexual Spectrum: default 10%
  • And the same settings have a NPC version:
    NPC % of Non-Hetero
    NPC % of non-cis
    NPC % of Ace-spec sims
    NPC % of aro-spec. sims

It is advised to NOT do assignments for orientation in CAS, but to do it all through this mod instead – because the mod has more options that CAS can’t handle at all! (it will also adjust the cas stuff, and vice versa).
The mod has a convenient all-in-one system for assignments so it’s fast and easy to make them.

You can manually assign and re-assign all aspects at any time.
You can remove, re-shuffle or change any Sim’s assignments at any time.

To change your own sim‘s orientation / identity: click the top option shown above (‘Sim’s Orientation, Identity & Physical Characteristics‘), then ‘Sim’s orientation & Identity‘ to change both, ‘identity only’ or ‘orientations only’ to change those separately. To reshuffle or remove, for your Sim (or any other), it’s in the ‘any sim‘ menu (on the bottom as shown above).
  • To change your own Sim’s orientation / etc, it’s under ‘orientations, identities & physical characteristics’.
  • You can change orientations / etc for a Sim your Sim is clicking on by going under ‘actions’ then ‘orientations & identities’ then ‘Make changes for [Sim]’
  • You can change ANY sim’s orientation / etc by clicking on your own sim and going to the ‘Orientations & Identities’ -> ‘Any Sim’ menu.
The Manual Assign / Quick Cheats Menu.
Choose Option on top to assign Identity and Orientation.
The “Any Sim’ menu

The “Ponder” menus also give you an option to make a manual or randomized selection but with a bit more of a gameplay vibe to it.

If Negativity is OFF: there will be only non-phobic reactions (positive)
If Negativity is ON: Sims will be able to have positive, neutral or negative (phobic) reactions.

  • The progression is not required of any Sim (ie, Sims don’t have to come out at all if they don’t want to; they can choose to be out within their family but not in public, etc etc).
  • The possible ‘progression’ is built on this model:
  • Sims typically start out as ‘in the closet‘. At this stage, they are generally ‘pretending’, ie , this tells the game that these sims should not reveal the truth (until ready), and act in ways that don’t reveal it. [this is up to you, there’s a setting]
  • Coming out to family or partners switches them to ‘discreetly out‘.
  • At this point, they can choose to (or not to) ‘come out publicly online‘. That makes them ‘Out‘.
  • They can choose to go further and become a “proud advocate” (only through the ‘extra aspects’ window for now).

These different ‘statuses’ will have MUCH more impact as the mod keeps developing!

Family and Partners are able to react to a Sim’s coming out.
Reactions are user-directed or left to fate, according to your choice at the moment. Animations and moodlets reflect the reaction and choice made.

There are special outcomes for couples: if the revelation means that the sims are actually incompatible in terms of orientation, an additional option shows.

In the Sim Profile, a relationship marker will remember how a Sim reacted.
Sentiments can also be added, and they trigger moodlets on occasional proximity.

A Sim coming out for the first time will see a special notification, and have the ‘closeted’ trait removed to be replaced by ‘discreetly out’ (if applicable).

Sims can tell friends if a coming out went well or badly (under ‘friendly’).

If Negativity is OFF: there will be only non-phobic reactions (positive)
If Negativity is ON: Sims will be able to have positive, neutral or negative (phobic) reactions.

Family and Partners are able to react to a Sim’s coming out.
Reactions are user-directed or left to fate, according to your choice at the moment.
Animations and moodlets reflect the reaction and choice made.

There are special outcomes for couples: if the revelation means that the sims are actually incompatible in terms of orientation, an additional option shows.

In the Sim Profile, a relationship marker will remember how a Sim reacted.
Sentiments can also be added, and they trigger moodlets on occasional proximity.

A Sim coming out for the first time will see a special notification, and have the ‘closeted’ trait removed to be replaced by ‘discreetly out’ (if applicable).

Sims can tell friends if a coming out went well or badly (under ‘friendly’).

If Negativity is OFF: there will be only non-phobic reactions (positive)
If Negativity is ON: Sims will be able to have positive, neutral or negative (phobic) reactions.

See section “The Coming Out Progression”.

Sims can ask each other about their Orientations & Gender Identities.

“Closeted” sims will not really answer.

“Discreetly out” sims will refuse to answer unless there’s good friendship.

‘Phobic’ Sims will have a, well, phobic reaction (only if Negativity is ON).

Some orientations & identities will show in the Sim profile if you have the relevant setting enabled.

  • For the sake of not overloading game resources, only lgbtqia+ orientations & identities will show. (note that in the trait panel, even cis-het stuff shows, to better erase the concept of normativity and expectations, because the resource concern doesn’t apply there).
Never forget a Sim’s orientations as you can see them at a glance.

The “Ask / Tell Pronouns” Mod has been integrated into this one (it still exists as a standalone for people who don’t want the LGBTQIA+ mod, too).

Sims who are auto-assigned non-cis identities by the current mod are likely to also have varieties of pronouns, so, asking them is something that makes sense! 🙂

NOTE: THERE IS AN EA BUG REGARDING RELATIONSHIP STATUSES AND PRONOUNS. It means that for sims not currently in the active household, pronouns in relationship statuses will show those based on the sim’s CAS gender and not custom pronouns. Due to this problem, I am updating those features to not add the pronouns in rel panel unless sims are in the same household. Hopefully EA will solve this soon.

  • You’ll be able to hide / turn off coming out settings in the next update (the one after the game patch) as I am waiting for update time to upload it in.
  • Choose to display known pronouns and Id. / Ori. in profile or not.

– Aromantics can get together in queerplatonic relationships. (in fact, other sims can too, but it was built with Aro in mind). In this context, they can choose to engage in romantic interactions (depending on their personal attitude towards romance)). There’s a metric associated with these relationship types, but as of now it doesn’t do much other than tell you the state of the relationship.

There will be more features added to / around Queerplatonic Relationships!

  • Sims can decide to go on a semi-blind date through Meet&Mingle!. The app auto-matches them with Sims of matching orientations & identities. They can accept the match or request another.
  • Sims can visit LGBTQIA+ Hangout lots (lot trait), hotspots for the LGBTQIA+ community.
    If this lot trait is applied to a bar, enjoy Special Nights with different crowds: Mondays from 6pm to 11pm is aro/ace night. Tuesdays 6pm to 11pm is W(N)LW night. Wednesdays from 6pm to 11pm is M(N)LM night. Thursdays from 6pm to 11pm is GNC night.

Note: per request, the Lot Trait is available under ‘Lot Traits AND under ‘Lot Challenges’, this for players who like to add a lot of lot traits and don’t want this one to take a lot trait slot. It is the same and works the exact same way in both cases. Don’t find offense in the term ‘challenge’, as the use of that category here is solely for the practical purpose of having the option to add this lot trait without costing a lot trait slot – and the term is therefore irrelevant and does not apply.

The Settings

AUTO-ASSIGNMENT SETTINGS: See “Auto-Assignment System”


  • Orientations & Identities Impact Gameplay:
    On or Off. Default: On.
    If ON, orientations & Identities (from this mod and from CAS) impact acceptance / refusal of romance and woohoo.
    If OFF, any orientation / identity label & assignment of this mod & CAS will NOT impact acceptance / refusal of romance / WooHoo.
    This turned OFF makes all Sims act pan whether they have labels or not.

  • Orientations Depend on Gender Identities, Not Game CAS Gender:
    On or Off. Default: On.
    If ON, Sims will react to each other based on their orientations and identities from this mod.
    If OFF, Sims will react to each other based on the game’s cas gender distinction of Male / female only.
    • Examples:
      – Kay is ‘biologically’ born male, identifies as male: both systems will let sims attracted to males accept Kay’s advances / initiate romance towards Kay.
      – Kay is ‘biologically’ born male, identifies as non-binary: with this ON, Sim will let sims attracted to any gender accept Kay’s advances. With this OFF, only Sims attracted to males will accept his advances.
      – Kay is ‘biologically’ born male, identifies as trans female: With this On, Sims attracted to females will accept Kay’s advances. With this Off, sims attracted to males will accept his advances.

  • Grey Out Interactions if Speaker does not Fit Other Sim’s Orientations
    On or Off. Default: On.
    – If ON, the mod will imitate the game’s system and grey out romantic / woohoo interactions for Sims who know the Sim talked to is not interested in their gender.
    – If OFF, the romantic interactions will be available regardless (but will fail if used, due to incompatibility. This is useful for storytelling.

    NOTE: Despite what the game’s own system might think and do, in my system non-averse Asexual Sims will never be fully prevented from (user directed) offering woohoo; non-averse aromantics will never be fully prevented from (user-directed) offering romantic interactions. Not all asexuals are celibate and not all aromantics hate holding hands!
  • Grey Out Interactions if Other Sim does not Fit Speaker’s Orientations
    On or Off. Default: Off
    – If ON, the mod will grey out romantic / woohoo interactions if active sim is not attracted to other sim.
    – If OFF, the romantic interactions will be available regardless.

  • Allow User-Directed WooHoo for Non-Romantic Relationship Types:
    On or Off. Default: Off.
    If On, ‘woohoo’ interactions will be available (User-Directed only) without romance (so, it would show for Sims in queerplatonic relationships, Sims with no romance points for each other, etc).
    If OFF, normal game criteria for WooHoo apply. NOTE: Sims with compatible sexual orientations but not romantic ones, and aromantic sims, will be able to choose to WooHoo without romance regardless of this setting.
  • Allow Negativity and Phobia
    On or Off. Default: OFF
    – If ON, various reactions are possible when sharing about LGBTQIA+ topics such as transitioning gender, etc. If ON, choice windows will appear to let the player decide a positive or negative reaction (or leave it up to fate) in some circumstances.
    – If OFF, every Sim will react positively. Choice windows will not appear.
  • Allow Neutral Reactions
    On or Off. On by default.
    – If negativity is OFF and this is ON, neutral answers are allowed. These are non-phobic answers such as ‘It’ll take time to adjust’, or ‘I’m afraid for our relationship’ (if a sim confessed being not oriented towards a partner’s gender for example).
    – If negativity is On, neutral answers are always allowed.
  • Allow ‘Coming Out’ Systems (SETTING WILL BE IN NEXT UPDATE)
    On or Off. Default: On.
    Choose to completely hide coming out systems, or let them show and be available.

Allow Orientation Discovery Systems

Percent of Qualifying Sims subject to orientation Discovery
(Qualifying Sims are auto-assigned Sims & Sims manually allowed)
Amount of qualifying sims to actually get a discovery

Allow Discovery For All Sims
On or Off. Default: Off.
Normally sims with auto-assigned identities / orientations and manually allowed sims qualify for orientation discovery; if this is On, all Sims qualify instead. Among those qualifying, NOT all will be flagged to have a discovery.

Show LGBTQIA+ Known Info in the Sim Profiles.
On or Off. Default: On.
If On, once you know a Sim is part of the community, their orientations & identities will be remembered in the Sim Profile. This might be difficult for weak computers.
NOTE: if a Sim’s orientations / identities change, the saved orientation / identity info in Sim profile will be removed because it’s not accurate anymore.
NOTE 2: Pronouns, once asked, will always show in the relationship panel, regardless of this setting

Show Rejection Explanation Notifications:
On or Off. Default: On.
If ON, a notification will show when a Sim refuses romance / WooHoo based on orientation, explaining what aspect is incompatible.
If OFF, these notifications won’t show.

How to Modify Settings? + How to keep settings when updating the mod


  • In Game, with the dedicated Interaction.
  • (Or through directly editing the config file for those who prefer that.)


  • Just Keep the ‘Lumpinou_LGBTQIA_GlobalSettings.cfg’ file when updating and your settings will survive! NOTE: If the update instructions say to delete it, do so. There may be rare cases that if I make changes to the settings system, the config file would need to go.

This List is Not Complete 🙂

Upcoming stuff 🙂
Interactions relevant to and depending on orientations, identities, extra aspect, etc.

Sims will have cultural attitudes towards romance / woohoo that’ll affect their reactions to romantic / woohoo discussion topics, festivals, films, seeing romantic acts, etc.

McWooHoo’s “No string woohoo” breaks the impact of this mod for woohoo. It must be turned off to use this mod.
Note that my setting ‘Show WooHoo for Non-Romantic relationships’ should do essentially the same thing.

  • WW and WonW will take into account my mod’s orientations in determining results for WW and WonW’s sexual attraction system. HOWEVER, WW and WonW see ONLY the CAS gender of Sims. So, it will not look at gender identities.
  • All those mods are OBSOLETE for the new game version. They conflict with the game and with this mod..
  • Your interactions would need to keep the EA scoring as part of determining interaction outcomes, as is done in game interactions, for my mod to automatically impact. In most cases, you’ll have that in your interactions.
    • OTHERWISE: I can give you a scoring tuning that takes solely into account elements from this mod, which you can use instead as part of your outcome tests.
  • If you inject your interactions into the game through injecting into the relevant affordance lists (either the normal ones or the ‘for reference’ ones), then my mod should automatically recognize your interactions and impact them.
    • OTHERWISE: if you give me your interaction IDs, I can manually add support for them.
  • (upcoming info)
  • CONTACT ME and we can make that work no problem!
  • Yes, but as for almost all matters of integration, I’d like for you to contact me about it! 🙂
    Then I can give you all the stuff needed, which I have pre made for that purpose 🙂

Contact me! 🙂
On Discord (fastest way), here in comments, or through the contact form.

Most up to date info is also on the download page.
(Find latest download page on my download index.)

Upon first installation, you will see this window when launching:

If you don’t, the mod is not properly installed. Read below:

+ ALSO MAKE SURE that the ‘global settings’ file that will appear after 1st launch with this mod in ALWAYS stays in the same folder as the TS4SCRIPT file for this mod 🙂

Detect Installation problems for For FUTURE / SUBSEQUENT installations:

If the mod is not properly installed, many things won’t work, and you’ll see options duplicated in the settings window.

Example of the butchered settings window caused by improper installation

In that case, check all of the above (in the dark screenshot above). If that’s all correct, also make sure that your script file and .cfg ‘global settings’ file for this mod are together in the same folder. It that’s still no good, delete the .cfg ‘global settings’ file and re-launch. If you still need help, contact me.

The sim in question would then be ignored by the mod. The game system will apply, letting the Sim romance and be romanced ‘freely’. You absolutely can leave it that way until you have a feel for your Sim’s orientations and then assign, etc!

  • If neither Sim in an interaction has orientations / identities from this mod: all goes as the game normally goes.
  • If one of them has ori / ids but not the other: all goes as the game normally does.
  • If one or both of the Sims involved have custom orientations / Ids from this mod:
    • If you want other Sims to react to your Sim logically to the Other Sims’ orientation: Give your Sim a Gender Identity (unless you have “orientations based on identities” turned off).
      You can give your sim a gender identity even without giving them orientations at all, through the dedicated interaction. You could also give them the ‘questioning’ orientation.
    • If you want your Sim to react to other Sims logically based on your Sim’s orientation: Give your Sim Orientations.

What if I want to give a gender identity to a Child Sim?

Playing the child, go under ‘actions’. There, you will see ‘gender identity’ where you can add an identity label to a child sim.

Once that is done, clicking the sim while they are the active sim will show you a ‘gender identity’ menu where the Sim can choose name, pronouns, and clothing preference.

These ‘child specific’ identities are less precise than the teen and older ones, on the idea that the sim figures things out in more precise terms as they grow; the child identity choices being: Boy, Girl, Not Just Boy or Just Girl.
Once aging up to Teen, the Sim will get a teen+ version, ie if a child sim is assigned girl at birth but has boy label, this Sim will age up to teen with the trans masc traits; a Sim who has ‘not just boy or just girl’ might then identify as genderfluid, agender or nonbinary.

WooHoo and Try for Baby acceptance / refusal are impacted by Sexual Attraction.

Acceptance of Kissing (and all other ‘hands on’ interactions) is influenced by Sexual orientation. This because it’s physical contact. Was not an easy choice to make, but due to that aspect, I put it with the physical stuff.

NOTE: there is a special trait if you would like a Sim to refuse kissing & other hands-on stuff (but not woohoo) as well if they are not romantically attracted. Add it under ‘Add Extra Aspect’

Acceptance of Flirting, sweet talk, and all non-touching romantic interactions are influenced by Romantic orientation.

NOTE: For asexual Sims, it is Romantic orientation that determines acceptance of kissing, which, for them, goes in to the ‘romantic’ category. Acceptance of WooHoo is based on romantic orientation and personal attitude towards woohoo (averse, indifferent or favorable)

  • BY DEFAULT: Agender / Non-Binary / Genderfluid Sims will be considered a fitting subject for all orientations. Trans Sims will be seen as the gender they identify with, not their birth gender.
    Example: a Sim attracted to Females only will also accept romance from trans female, agender, non-binary and genderfluid sims).
  • IF YOU TURN OFF ‘attractions based on identities, not game system’: then, trans / non-binary / genderfluid / agender Sims will be considered fitting for orientations depending on their CAS-assigned biology, ie, on the game’s gender systems instead of this mod’s.
    Example: a Sim was ‘born’ a ‘biological female’, but is / identifies as Non-Binary: with this setting, only Sims who are attracted to Female & bi / pan sims will accept advances from them.

This is safest to use when having the mod as only a cosmetic thing (ie, when turning off Gameplay Impact).

Otherwise, you can use it but it may confuse the system (for example, not choosing a gender identity will make it difficult for the system to know what Sims may be attracted to your Sim).

In this mod, Bi and Pan work about the same except they are phrased different. This because it would be difficult here to show the difference between ‘ attracted to multiple genders’ versus ‘attracted to sims regardless of gender’. It would require making things such as ‘attracted to non-binary’, etc, which, in essence, can be a thing, at least in romantic attraction, but it is a concept that could reinforce fetishization and other issues, and we don’t want that.

This mod will save your settings for it in a .cfg file that will be generated in the same folder as the mod. You can open it at any time with a standard text editor (window’s Notepad for example) to see that, indeed, it has nothing in it but the settings the mod needs to work.

That’s up to you, of course!

First, check out the “Quick “Playstyle” setting guide” section

Here are some more detailed possible models:

  • NPC auto-assign ON, played-Sim auto-assign OFF, Gameplay Impact ON:
    With this combination, Sims in the world will automatically have their preference and be ready to function with the mod.
    Your Sims will be ‘left alone’ by the mod.
    So, when you have a new Sim, I advise giving them a gender identity to begin with, so that the system knows how other Sims should react to them (this is different if you have ‘orientations based on identities’ turned off).
    Then, you can play your Sim, see where life leads them, see what relationships they strike up – and once you’ve gotten a feel for them, you can give them the assignments that match them!
    You could also do a manual assign right away if you so choose of course.

  • NPC auto-assign ON, Played Sim auto-assign ON, Gameplay Impact ON:
    With this model, all qualifying Sims will have their preferences set up automatically. You can selectively modify any of them, of course – but you are basically giving the game & mod full power to make the initial decisions, and then build your Sim’s lives around those decisions. Help your Sim meet someone compatible, see what happens, change things around if your Sim finds that something has changed, there’s always freedom to adjust! 🙂

  • NPC auto-assign OFF, Played Sim auto-assign OFF, Gameplay Impact ON:
    With this model, you are leaving the game’s own system in power ‘by default’. Then, punctually, for the Sims to whom you assign orientations & identities, you give power to the mod to make sims react to each other according to identities & orientations.

  • Auto-Assign(s) ON, Gameplay Impact OFF:
    Let’s call this ‘high control storytelling mode’. You let the mod give Sims orientations & identities, but you don’t let the mod have gameplay impact.
  • Auto-Assign(s) OFF, Gameplay Impact OFF:
    And that would be ‘total control storytelling mode’. You don’t let the mod assign anything, and don’t let it impact gameplay. You assign orientations & identities when you want and keep them as a cosmetic, storytelling-only aspect.

The text for the labels and descriptions of LGBTQIA+ orientations and identities (gender identites, romantic orientations, sexual orientations, romantic and sexual attitudes) used in this mod was designed through collaborative effort. Total consensus is impossible, but we tried to get a realistic level of consensus anyways.

This is how that process went:
– First, I made a text draft based on research and readings.
– Then, I submitted that draft to the community, so that they would make suggestions to replace or modify my draft. For each suggestion, users explained their choice of wording.
– From the suggestions collected, a voting poll was made. The community voted on the final wordings to be used. Those wordings are the ones you see in the mod.

This process means that the resulting labels and descriptions of LGBTQIA+ orientations and identities are the product of two levels of community selection. Of course, we absolutely have the right to disagree with this final text / feel not properly represented by it / etc. Once again, labels are universalisms to encompass individualities – it’s never going to be a perfect fit for everyone, neither the label itself nor the wordings associated with it.

In respect to the community for their thoughtful writings for and votes on the labels and definitions for this mod, I will not change that part of the text unless it appears that the consensus has changed (ie, if many many people seem to say it should change, and there is a consensus in the community on that, then I will quite gladly change it).

If you believe this process or choice is misguided, please feel free to contact me and offer your point of view. I am always willing to listen and consider.

Yes, absolutely! 🙂

I would love to hear it. Please contact me and explain your point of view clearly. I am always willing to listen and consider; nothing is set in stone here 😀
This mod is to maintain a community aspect and I care to hear your feedback if you think something is done wring or causing misrepresentation.

Just made a release! (August 2).

  • Taking a break before the patch.

Find most recent version:

– on my Patreon Mod Index Post
OR on ModTheSims

Back icons created by Freepik – Flaticon
Forward icons created by Freepik – Flaticon
Lgtb vector created by alicia_mb –
Pride flag vector created by alicia_mb –
Sex symbol vector created by freepik –
Additional flag icons made by me from existing flag images.

141 thoughts on “Lumpinou’s LGBTQIA+ / Gender & Orientation Overhaul Mod (Sims 4):

  1. Hi, do you think you could please add an option to move your menus (Relationship Wellness, Pregnancy & Family, LGBTQIA+) to the Actions menu, or even behind a shift-click?

    1. Hi, all my settings-only menus are already under actions. The ones that aren’t are gameplay menus 🙂
      For lgbtqia, that’s an exception, but for all other mods, that holds true

      1. So I think my best option would be to try and edit it to put the menus in the back of the Sim pie then. For my personal use I tend to try and hide settings menus after I config them the first time. Thanks for the reply, I really love your mods =)

        1. I totally understand as I hate menu clogging as well!!! Well, my mods already hide settings menus under ‘actions’, in fact I was about the first modder to use the actions menu for that purpose widely haha. I do wish more settings were hidden. The LGBTQIA menu is a bit of a hybrid but it’s still not just settings, it’s also got the stuff to assign things to your own sim or others as they go about living their lives. You’ll still notice that when clicking on other sims than your own, the menu for this mod is already under ‘actions’, as it is for RPO etc etc.
          If I move the one on the active Sim to Actions eventually, it’ll only be because there’ll be another menu taking its place with more strictly gameplay stuff, so, in the end, there’ll always be a menu there haha.

      2. there is a problem happening with wicked whins. sims do not recognize the trans sims as being from the trans gender when Wicked Whims is set to only allow sex with sims according to orientation.

        either a message will appear saying the orientation does not match, or that the “current situation” dos not allow sex between the sims. this is only fixed when the sexuality of the sims is changed in accordance to that of CAS gender. only the regular gender is recognized.

        1. Hi, that’s on WW’s end, and not my fault or anything I can do anything about. WW looks at cas gender only on this.
          If you use the game system (Woohoo), my mod will be recognized and work properly etc. WW stuff recognizes only WW stuff and CAS gender as far as I understand.
          WW has genitalia settings which may or may not also impact this stuff, so, that’s something to look into.
          Otherwise – it would take integration from Turbodriver for my stuff to be recognized this way by his mod, and it might not be a logical step depending on how he wants his thing to work.

          If you just want both mods to say the same thing at all times, you can also make my mod look at cas gender instead of its default which is looking at gender identity.

      3. i added the WW config for genitals as said. i also did the same with the lbt global settings

        . i noticed although that the message when failing to ask for sex of incompatible orientation is no longer that the sim refuses because of orientation or gender. the message that the “current situation” does not allow sex between the sims. i suppose this is WW problem, correct?


        1. This is all WW features, and therefore sees only cas gender and ww stuff. This will be true until / if Turbo or the game ever changed his system to be able to integrate, which may or may not happen, it’s not on me to say, as I don’t decide for others and know near nothing of his system anyway.
          My mod applies to the game systems, ie, Woohoo.

      4. is it possible for a sim to have a different romantic and sexual orientation (lesbian romantic but pansexual, for example) ? it always reset to the same orientation when the game restarts or it is loaded (example, panromantic and pansexual) .

      5. the problem i mentioned above is probably related to ww as well. the attractiveness setting influences woohoo and romance interests. i think they are not separate in ww but im not sure.

        1. Yes it is totally possible through my mod to have completely split orientations (see mod description).
          WW had the ability to change cas stuff and my mod would notice and then adjust itself to the changed cas stuff. I however don’t know if your assumption above is correct as I don’t know WW well. So, make sure through settings that your WW and other mods that this one don’t change gender preference and then that should stop, because it’s not my mod doing it, my mod is merely adjusting to a change to cas stuff made by another mod. Also make sure you don’t have any old gender preference lock or gender preference impacting mod that was built for the old system only and wasn’t updated (Chingyu had one for example, that would need to be removed).

  2. I know there’s already some features like this in PimpMySims mod but it hasn’t updated for a while. Can we get interactions and events like Coming Out Party, protests , holiday traditions, maybe an LGBTQ lot trait for like maybe a help center or place for sims to interact?? It doesn’t have to be exact but I miss those interaction from the mod.

    1. Hi! You can keep PimpMySim’s mod to use its social events, alongside my mod. they don’t conflict.
      My mod is going to get a lot of gameplay stuff, but social events aren’t really what I plan to do -especially since the aforementioned mod has them. 🙂

  3. Afternoon! After installing the mod turns out my current main Sims sibling is trans. When I went in to update her pronouns and name I saw she is still defaulted to a masculine clothing preference. I was curious if that’s a variable element with your mod (i.e. she could have flipped to a feminine clothing preference but happened not to).

    Obviously wearing clothing considered “traditional” for the gender you identify with is totally optional so I figured it was likely you baked it in and if so I plan to leave it alone. If not I will probably flip a coin to see she stays with that preference or I change it.

    Anyway, sorry if you already answered this question, I feel like I saw something about it previously but can’t find it anymore. Thanks!

    1. Hi!

      First, in case you didn’t know, you can change pronouns without going to CAS through my mod (unless you’re looking for a pronoun option my shortcuts don’t have of course, then).

      Second, I make it switch gender clothing preference when sims get auto-assigned trans, and it’s worked for me prior, but there might be an issue with it so I will re-check it. Normally it would indeed switch.

      Thanks for letting me know and I hope you’ll enjoy the mod!!

      1. It was auto assigned but I was introducing a friends kid to the game this weekend so I had all my gameplay mods removed for the “vanilla” experience. Maybe something with taking all the mods out and putting them back in like that?

        Anyway, this totally tells me what I need to do so thank you! I’ll make sure Misty isn’t currently closeted (didn’t think of THAT till later) and then I’ll update her clothing preference and get her some new duds! I always have fulleditmode on so its not a huge deal for me how I change the pronouns but good to know!

        Appreciate you, as always!!

        1. If you take out mods and save while they’re out, all their data gets ‘erased’ so to speak, so that could have had something to do with it. I will still check it up.

          Sounds good! Thanks for the enthusiasm! 🙂

  4. OMG! It’s great! The romantic and sexual orientations are separated, AND it has aro/ace options, AND queerplatonic relationships, AND all of this impacts the gameplay? I love it! Thank you so much, this is probably the best LGBT mod I’ve ever seen. I could finally make my sim-self and give her my actual identity! It totally made my day

  5. So as a gay male i love that you have this mod but would it interfere with the othe Lgbtq mod by pimpmysims4

  6. Hi! I just downloaded your mod and am super excited to use it! I have a question regarding compatibility with Wonderful Whims though. I turned off the “Romance Gender Preference Outcome Switch” as instructed, but there is also a feature called “Gender Preference Distribution Weights” where you can set percentages for “likes neither”, hetero, homo, and bi gender preferences for newly generated sims. This seems similar to the auto-assignment percentage settings in your mod, so I’m wondering if there’ll be any conflict between them? And if so, what I should do about it…

      1. There’s no way to turn it off as far as I know… But I found this description of the setting: “This is a base game mechanic, and the values you see below are the default distribution weight values. Attractiveness uses this mechanic to figure out Sim’s preference for a particular gender. Normally there’s no way to affect this, but altering the distribution weights is safe to do and will be compatible with other mods you have.” Maybe just leaving the values at their default would be fine then since they’re in the base game anyway..? (I don’t know how this stuff works heh 😅)

        1. Default sounds like the best solution. I imagine it will be fine regardless, I’d have to check, but I think it’s fine in any case 🙂

  7. This is awesome! You have no idea how long I have wanted a mod that allows for queerplatonic relationships! Can’t wait until we get more info on those!

  8. Sounds OTT but seeing the aro representation in this literally made me tear up with happiness. Thank you it means so much to have it in the game 😀

  9. This was wonderfully fast! I know what I am gonna be doing over the next few Sim days with Ms. Misty! Thank you ❤️

  10. Hello, this mod is wonderful, and I can’t even imagine how much work went into it.
    Since negative reactions are a possibility, would you consider including a “homo-/transphobia” trait (that can be manually assigned) in future updates? For storytelling purposes, this would be great, especially if it included the option to try to convince a x-phobe to reconsider.

    1. Hi, there is a ‘phobic’ trait in extra aspects, at the moment it makes it so Sims will react always negatively to being told about stuff such as gender transition etc. There will be more developments to the phobia aspects as to most aspects really haha. Yes this mod already took a huge amount of work and will take huge more haha. It takes a lot of time, so, I add things little by little 🙂

  11. For a moment it seemed as though my lesbian sim didn’t see my trans woman sim as a valid woman, she would always reject her regardless of the romance level between them but then I changed her preference from ww to match my trans woman sim and it was fine. It must have been set so she didn’t like women at all.

    1. Did you turn off the WW impact on romance rejection? It is incompatible with my mod. See in compatibility section for more info.
      If doing WW ‘sex’, WW’s system applies, so make sure it matches. If WW isn’t matching attractions from my mod properly in its system, it’s something that would be good to bring to Turbodriver, as it’s supposed to do that.
      If you have my mod, there are two possibilities: you keep ‘orientations look at identitis, not cas gender’ in which case identifying as a woman is all it takes to be seen as one, OR you turn that off and cas gender is looked at (this matches WW’s system for example). In either of these possibilities, your sim would have been recognized as a woman due to their doing top surgery etc. So, WW was responsible for the issue there 🙂

  12. Hello <3 first of all thank you for this amazing mod! but I have a tiny pbm :') when the options open, I can't assign what I want, I actually have each options appearing as on and off but I can't interact with it. Here's a screenshot (bcs I'm sure what I say is not very clear xD) :

    Also, I wanted to test manually to give gender & orientation to my sim, but I only have the gender options available, I don't have anything about romantic or sexual orientation…

    Thank you in advance !

    1. 1. Delete the global settings file from this mod if any had geberated
      2.make sure you have only the latest version of the mod and that the script file is no deeper than one subfolder in the mods folder and that script mods are activated in game.

      When the settings window looks like that, there is a problem with reading either the settings or the script.

      Let me know!

      1. Hello again and ty for taking the time to reply to me <3 I actually tried to delete the file and install it again to see if it'd work, the script is my mod file (in one subfolder not more), and the scripts mods is still well activated in my game, but for some reason, the text is still appearing this way (and still no sign of the sexuality/romantical orientation). I reread entirely your full post about the conditions but I normally have nothing that could get in conflict with it…I don't know for the moment what is wrong ;o;

        1. Make sure you have no old version in, and no old version of the cfg file. Delete the cfg and the mod. Make sure there is absolutely nothing left of this mod in your folders. Do a search with my name in your folder if need be.
          Then re-download. Put the script and package together directly in your mods folder. Launch a household. Look of a global settings file has generated in the mods folder for this mod. If in game it still looks wonky, open the global settings file with a text editor (window’s notepad, etc) and copy-paste what’s in it here 🙂

          There is no reason for it to not work if everything is done right, so, let’s keep searching!

          OH also are you on latest game version

  13. Hello again 🙂 I redownloaded everything, load my game, it still looked the same with still not every options appearing ; I checked the file with the global setting and when I opened it, I have this :

    Ahhh now you say that, I have an oldest version of the game, could that be the pbm? (I didn’t think about it, since I could play with your other mods without pbm before, sorry if I didn’t mention it sooner).

    1. An old game version would definitely cause problems 🙂
      Maybe not that one, but depending on how old, then even that one yes.

      The cfg looks perfectly normal, so, yeah.

  14. This isn’t really a critique on the mod (I don’t think anyway) since HRT is changing the sim body type using the pre existing feature, but Holy HRT Success Batman! Misty completed therapy and I hardly recognize her.

    I know that real HRT can in fact be very effective sometimes and of course when I think about it in realistic terms I’m happy for her, but prior to therapy she reminded me a lot of a trans friend of mine so in that sense I personally miss the old Misty lol.

    Anyway, great work as always – the buffs during her journey were very well done. Top surgery is next, my girl didn’t get lucky in that department with hormone therapy alone. Just wanted to share.

    1. It’s indeed the system doing that!
      Unfortunately nothing I can do about it other than not have the frame change and change it instead through some other ‘general body modification’ surgery but that wouldn’t be much more realistic as that would encompass several procedures in one haha. But I 100% get what you’re saying and felt the same way. I am working with the limitations of a system not built to do what I make it do! 🙂

      It should be 100% fine and safe to revert the frame in cas if you like.

      Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  15. how would this work with occults like aliens as in can i have a trans ftm alien in alien form and all female disguise so i can make a true version of ranma 1/2 i will be using this mod as created for other sims but the idea of having a true Ranma in the background of my game

  16. One of the biggest turn offs for this mod is the picture quality, i wish you’d add more pride flags. This is one of the reasons why i just use pimpmysim’s mod instead.

    1. Hi, here’s a why on the flags:
      1. Some flags are controversial / have different versions – how am I to pick?
      2. Not everything has a flag, even
      So, that’s that, at the moment 🙂 It might change in the future if the aforementioned issues get circumvented / addressed.

      Do feel free to use another mod if you don’t like this one because it sticks to game graphics. That’s a personal choice and is completely valid as such!
      Meanwhile, I will keep focusing on gameplay additions and gameplay impact in absolute priority – which is also a valid choice 🙂

  17. The newest version seems to have broken the ability to set household/family members’ stuff. When I click on the ‘other sims/any sims’ menu, I can’t see any of my household sims except for the two adults, if I am playing as either of them. No teens show up for them, for eachother, or the adults when opening the menu with a teen as the playable sim. This wasn’t an issue with the previous version, so I’m not sure what the problem is….Everything is up to date and I don’t have any incompatible mods, at least as far as I am aware.

    1. – you can also change stuff for a sim near to yours by clicking them from yours and going to ‘actions’. Since those are household sims, it’s quicker to do it that way!

      – my incest prevention tests got a little on steroids there and accidentally blocked the first picker for sims within the same family. It’s not about being teen or not, it’s about them being related. I re-changed it so it’ll be fine in next version. But, yeah, the stuff in ‘actions’ will work for your case 🙂

  18. Thank you so much for this mod. I used it last night and it was fine. Just updated again. For some strange reason my trans sims are not receiving their breast and also getting their period.

    1. – None of my mods have menstruation and there’s no integration at the moment with mods that do. That requires bilateral work and hasn’t been talked about yet.
      – What do you mean by “not receiving their breasts”

  19. Hey 😀
    First of all thank you for this amazing mod! I love to play around with my sims identities and your mod is so detailed and I am sure I will have lots of fun further exploring it, but I have already run into a little problem. I am not sure if this could be a potential mod conflict, since I do have a lot and try very hard to keep them updated (so should be fine on that front.) My problem is that “Ask to become queerplatonic partner” is just not an option showing up for my aromantic sim and not her partner either. I tried to add it through cheats and I did find the symbol for it, but it also has no description and when I click it, it still does not show up in the relationship info. I was wondering if it was due to their friendship not being high enough, so I maxed it with cheats, but the option still did not show up, so not sure what is or could be going on.

    1. Hi and thanks for the nice words!

      To ask to be QPP, they need:
      – a bit of friendship
      – to be single, to not be engaged / married to each other, to not have the soulmate status (extremely high romance)
      – to be teen / teen or older / older
      – to be on the aro/greyro or ace/grey-ace OR to be allo and have compatible sexualities but incompatible romantic orientations

      It absolutely does have text – and all appears properly here. If you want to add the relbit as a cheat, shift+click from one to the other (with game cheats enabled), go to ‘orientation & identity’ then ‘add relbit’, but really there should be no need as the interaction works 🙂

      1. Thank you for the info and the quick reply!
        Now I know that the issue is that they are already married. :’D I guess my issue is then shifted to my aromantic sim not accepting romantic interactions from her wife. I just had not thought that one would exclude the other, but I am sure there are reason for that, so yeah, thanks for helping me figure this out. 🙂 Funny enough her rejecting her wifes romantic interactions is kind of fitting for how their whole relationship has been like, they are a bit of a mess. xD

        1. That is normal. Aromantic Sims refuse romantic interactions out of qpr.
          If your sims already have actual high romance together, it makes little sense to then suddenly remove it and say they’re unable to have romance points, which is why I don’t allow asking to be in a qpr if already married and very in love, as that would be a contextual faux pas. Sims in qpr will be able to get married however, albeit for now they can’t due to me having to sort through the marriage thing considering my wedding stories exists. But of course some stories could warrant that, hence the existence of cheats. You could add the ‘queer platonic partner’ bit with the cheat I explained above to bypass that. Then make sure you have set your sim to Romance favorable or to 0 in the ‘attitude towards romance’ thing aros get if you want them to accept romance from their spouse.

      2. Would you consider, whether for this mod alone or only for users who have both this mod and Open Love Life, allowing grey-aros (or allos with incompatible romantic orientations) who aren’t single to enter into a QPP with someone? It would be cool to include queerplatonic partnerships into polycules (say, a grey-aro sim is romantically attracted to one partner but not the other but still wants to be committed to the person they’re not romantically attracted to). I can see why this might not be a priority tho.

        1. If it’s not exclusive it’s not exclusive, as a relationship status it can’t be blocked only in some cases. I blocked it to be exclusive but honestly there’s no strong reason why. I might reconsider

  20. Hello, thanks a lot for all your work.
    Sorry english is not my native language.
    I have an issue with the mod and i couldn’t find an answer on your different websites.
    When i am try to reveal gender identities or reveal orientation nothing happened. There is a bug like the one when you reset a sim.
    I have the latest version. Is there any modification i need to do?
    Sorry again french is my language.

    1. Quelle est votre version du jeu ? Si c’est pas la plus récente, c’est ça le problème.

      Such an issue would be due to a not up to date game